ego: the opinion that you have about yourself.
An ego can be a tricky thing. It can have you feeling yourself even when it isn’t warranted. It can have you believing that you are the bomb dot org, net, com, info, tv, etc.—which can be a good thing, because if you don’t believe it, who will? But the ego can also have you wrapped up in mistruths about yourself that you go on believing for years only to find out that in reality, it’s not true.
The ego can be a gift and a curse.
When you do what I do, you’ve got to have a strong ego. You are constantly selling yourself. Come to my website, read my content, come to hear me speak, download my book, follow me online, recommend me to others, listen to my podcast—all of this requires that you have a positive opinion about who you are. And it is that very feeling that can get you caught up into believing your own hype and playing into our delusions on grandeur.
Personally speaking, my ego hasn’t served me well as it relates to what I do. On one hand, it has me thinking that I am an island and I can do everything on my own. On the other hand, it has me thinking that I am not always worthy. And sometimes it has been counterproductive to my goals and mission.
I am a hard egg to crack–mainly because most of the time, I am a scared chick trying to make it in the big leagues. My ego doesn’t always believe in me, and I in it. We disagree. We argue. We fall out.
And to protect my ego, I’ve sometimes have let it get out of control. I have had conversations with colleagues and let my ego do the talking, only to regret every word I said. Because when I don’t control my ego, it begins to control me.
There have been misunderstandings, falling outs, and disagreements. And because of their ego, and because of mine, we haven’t always been able to mend fences. Egos have a way of not wanting you to admit when you are wrong. And boast too much when you are right.
If I could rip out my ego and start over, I would. But after close to 40 years, rebuilding a new one isn’t an option. So if I can’t redo it, then I need to change it. And that seems to be the hardest part.
One thing you will always hear me say is that I am a work in progress. Somedays I take the day off; somedays I work overtime. But one thing I wish I could do is learn to handle my ego and everything that comes with it—good or bad. Perhaps I need to lay on someone’s couch and work it all out. But guess what? My ego won’t allow me to do that, either.
Such is life…