A hard head makes a soft (a… shut your mouth).
My dad used to say this to me upon certain occasions as I was growing up. I didn’t fully understand what he meant until recently. I mean, I got the point he was trying to make with his crass and sometimes foul mouth and tone, but I didn’t comprehend the actuality that he was doing his best to express when I was younger. Now that I have been doing a lot of reflecting and soul-searching as of late (I think it’s because I am approaching 40 and stuff and this is the type of behavior that you indulge in as you step closer to middle age), I’ve found myself thinking about this old school saying and wondering to myself, why? What does this all mean?
We’ve all heard the saying, supposedly spoken by Albert Einstein (Benjamin Franklin and Unknown has been attributed to this quote as well): “the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results”. Of course, insanity in its medical definition is hardly that easy to describe. But I do get the meaning behind the madness. If you keep repeating behaviors that don’t get you anywhere (or least, don’t get you where you want to be), why repeat them? Why not try something new? Why not charge it to the game and move on to hopefully greener and more fruitful pastures?
Because, as humans, I think we like pain. I think we like the whole whoa is me scenario when it benefits us. And when it doesn’t, why many of us just cry foul.
I am one of those many people.
Placing blame onto others when it isn’t warranted because I want to play the victim card. Yeah, I’ve done that. Not admitting a monumental mistake just to try to save face, well, I’ve done that too. I have shown repeated behaviors that indicate that there must be something wrong with me. Insane? Perhaps. Or just stuck on stupid.
Either way, with my 2014 of theme of living with purpose on purpose, I pledge to do better. I pledge to stop being hard-headed for the sake of being hard-headed. Why, if I did that, imagine how successful I could be? If I took down the airs and let go of the pageant wave while keeping it truly real—that is where my magic can happen.
My biggest problem is my pride. Yes, I said it. And it is that pride that gets me into a lot of trouble. I want to offer help, but hardly ever want to accept it. Talk about being a hypocrite.
I want you to join me in learning to let go of that other stuff to get to the good. And that means behaviors that serve no purpose other than to hurt others and hurt ourselves. I want you to join me in not repeating behaviors that don’t do anything but keep us stuck.
I am hardheaded, stubborn, and loyal to a fault. These qualities have been a gift and a curse. But have they served me well? Nope. So I’ve got to let it go.
I miss my dad now that he is no longer with us. What I miss most is his sayings (he had a saying for everything). I missed how he would push me to be the best I could be even when I couldn’t see it for myself. And since he is no longer here to push me, I’ve got to push myself. For better and for worse. It may make me produce tears. It may make me sad. But I am here to say that I am NOT afraid to do the work.