ego: the opinion that you have about yourself.
An ego can be a tricky thing. It can have you feeling yourself even when it isn’t warranted. It can have you believing that you are the bomb dot org, net, com, info, tv, etc.—which can be a good thing, because if you don’t believe it, who will? But the ego can also have you wrapped up in mistruths about yourself that you go on believing for years only to find out that in reality, it’s not true.
The ego can be a gift and a curse.
When you do what I do, you’ve got to have a strong ego. You are constantly selling yourself. Come to my website, read my content, come to hear me speak, download my book, follow me online, recommend me to others, listen to my podcast—all of this requires that you have a positive opinion about who you are. And it is that very feeling that can get you caught up into believing your own hype and playing into our delusions on grandeur.
Personally speaking, my ego hasn’t served me well as it relates to what I do. On one hand, it has me thinking that I am an island and I can do everything on my own. On the other hand, it has me thinking that I am not always worthy. And sometimes it has been counterproductive to my goals and mission.
I am a hard egg to crack–mainly because most of the time, I am a scared chick trying to make it in the big leagues. My ego doesn’t always believe in me, and I in it. We disagree. We argue. We fall out.
And to protect my ego, I’ve sometimes have let it get out of control. I have had conversations with colleagues and let my ego do the talking, only to regret every word I said. Because when I don’t control my ego, it begins to control me.
There have been misunderstandings, falling outs, and disagreements. And because of their ego, and because of mine, we haven’t always been able to mend fences. Egos have a way of not wanting you to admit when you are wrong. And boast too much when you are right.
If I could rip out my ego and start over, I would. But after close to 40 years, rebuilding a new one isn’t an option. So if I can’t redo it, then I need to change it. And that seems to be the hardest part.
One thing you will always hear me say is that I am a work in progress. Somedays I take the day off; somedays I work overtime. But one thing I wish I could do is learn to handle my ego and everything that comes with it—good or bad. Perhaps I need to lay on someone’s couch and work it all out. But guess what? My ego won’t allow me to do that, either.
Such is life…
Allowing yourself to be vulnerable takes courage; thank you for this post…I loved it!
I’d like to offer these words:
Ego is all about energy. We operate within seven levels of energy and investing time to understand how each level defines who we are is beneficial to learning how to control our egos. It is normal for our egos to work for and against us. The key is being conscious and choosing the type and level of energy we want to perform in any given situation. The curse: Ego can contribute to creating Perceptions that we turn into our Reality. The gift: Truth is power when we give our ego permission to shine! Given the fact that you are aware of your ego says that you are already on the couch. Take your time and allow who you are to speak.
Question to ponder…How might you be successful in learning how to control your ego if you thought of it as being a challenge as opposed to being something hard to change?
Shaquan, thanks for dropping these gems. I never looked at it from that perspective—which is why I think your PRT movement is so very real, as it makes you look at things from a different lens. Since I have learned that my ego is something that hinders me, I do look at it as a challenge. I don’t think it’s necessarily hard for me to change as it is that it is easier to go forward status quo. I have invested so much time in other things that my greatest investment in 2014 will be myself. I am not going to let my perceptions become my reality become my truth. For reals!
Given the fact that NOTHING about you says status quo, I’m certain you will receive a great return on your invest! You are an amazing chick…ego and all! Looking forward to watching you evolve!
Love this space Danyelle. Glad that you are letting us in. Being Vulnerable is something that everyone can’t dish and also can’t take. It takes special folks to see us for who we are. When you find them, just embrace them. It took me a minute to finally learn that lesson, but I am and it helps so much. And BTW, you’re amazing as Coach Shaquan already said.
Val recently posted..Using Your 140 Characters For Social Good ~ #DayOfLight Recap